You Decide

Swept Away

1st

Still a favorite.

Olympic Hotties

Sex and the Olympic City

Makes Barbados Slim come to mind.

Gold Ain't Old

Squatch

Documentary on Bigfoot.

Does he exist?

Sesame Street

Talent

I stumbled upon the original version of Chocolate Rain first. And just as I was saying "This guy's voice is too unique for him to be useless," I clicked on this.

English

Not getting political. I just think it's cute.

T-Rex

Don't date a T-Rex.

Porn

Old but whatev.

Anopheles

As I've gotten older, mosquitoes have liked me less and less. Or perhaps being the fat kid that I am, I've spent less time outdoors. In any case, mosquitoes this year have taken a particular liking to my hands. I'm usually pretty cool about not scratching bites, but when they're on your hands they're way more susceptible to incidental contact which gets them all fired up. The worst bite I had this year was on one of my palms which was a nightmare because not only did it itch, it drove the densely networked nerves in my hand crazy.

Relief: Over 40 Mosquito Bite Itch Relief Tips

My home remedy before I saw this was two dabs of gin at the location of the bite.

Statehood

Plotkin: Should Mayor Fenty be called a governor?
O'Malley: I often call him the governor of the New Columbia.
Fenty: He does, so that's a yes.

Rapist

Serial Rape Suspect's Trail Of Clues Leads to Violent End

Dusseau attempted to calm the man by complimenting his flashy ride -- the truck with oversize rims and a clown face painted on the hood -- which he had parked in a handicapped spot in front of the police station.

Real inconspicuous Mr. Rapist.

*%#@

Cools!!!!!!

Old but funny as hell!

The Cooley Zone: Adventures in NFL drug testing

FRIDAY!!!

This is for the ladies.

Tryst is for nerds.

Land of the Laptop People

I pity the fool...

I know you're thinking "He leaves the blog blank all this time and then comes back with this?! #*@&!"

But you can't argue with the song.

Gun Ban

Yay! The gun ban is dead (sort of).

"Elmo is a couch potato."

What?

Preggo my Eggo

A parent's worst nightmare:

Pregnancy Boom at Gloucester High

"We found out one of the fathers is a 24-year-old homeless guy," the principal says, shaking his head.

Porn

FRIDAY!

For the ladies.

We'll miss you, big guy.

Tim Russert Dead at 58

Ass

USA!

I'm Rich Bitch!

Booze!

The Most Expensive Spirits In The World
"Mad Dog" 20/20 - $2.89
After you've sipped on the "good stuff" all night, and all the pretentious assholes have gone home, pull this baby out of your pocket and chug down a flask of body-temperature-warm mad dog. It tastes like some weird funky juice but it gets you f'd up. Salut!

Cool Whip

G-Dub Meets PBJ

Can't beat a classic.

Know what I keep in the linin'...

Two types of dirty dancing: Grinding is explicit, but don't call it sexy

Said one young man, "Men like to dance, and women like to have sex. But neither are supposed to show it."

Dead Kid

I think many of us our thinking to ourselves, "Had that been my kid, I'd be burrying my child."

He said he wants a new place to stay. Is it too harsh to recommend a boarding school deep somewhere in a confederate state?


Have a Twinkie and a slap. (Sorta) well said.

At least he's honest.

China earthquake: Teacher admits leaving pupils behind as he fled Chinese earthquake

His explanation was simple. "I have a very strong sense of self-preservation," he said. "I have never been a brave man and I'm only really concerned about myself."

Wild Wild West

The hottest video I've seen in a while.

Nyhahaha

I don't think I have to say much more.

Tomb Raider

Lara Croft statue leads to police break-in, arrest

The first evening it was in our apartment, I got up in the middle of the night to grab a drink of water and, while disoriented in the dark, I saw what appeared to be a mutant wielding knives in the corner of my living room.

I won't lie to you. A little pee came out.

Stereotype

So you're tired of them being stereotyped as uneducated, but you acknowledge that they're not very well educated.

W.Va. governor fights 'stereotyping'

"They might not have all the diplomas hanging on the wall, but they have a Ph.D. in life."

Eep!

This one is for Sajid because I think we all miss Huey, Dewey, Louie and Jake.

FRIDAY!

Have a good weekend everyone!

Girl tragically struck with “open mouth” disease

Word!

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

David McCullough urges
grads to speak properly

Buggin'

Anyone who feels like buying me this shirt, please feel free to do so.

The Future

Caffeinated bacon? Baconated grapefruit?

Frankenfoods: Six snacks prepared in the lab

Preakness

Have fun these weekend, you freakin' retards.

FRIDAY!

It's Friday and I don't have to work graveyard shift anymore. Drinks tonight baby!

Sucks to be him.


I didn't want to but I laughed at about 2:22.


The dancing chicken did it for me.

Throw some D's on it.

News you can use.

When big breasts are a big pain

Day Maker

I may be un-hip for never having seen this but it made my day.

COMEUPPANCE!!!

Hot Fiyah!

Do you ever open up the old time capsule and when some shit like this falls out you're like "I can't remember if this was supposed to be serious."


Then some shit like this falls out and you're like "When did we this Gary Coleman doll? Wait, it's not a doll. Wait again, it's not Gary Coleman."

FRIDAY!

It's been a rough week.

Electricdae

This is what girlfriends are for. Taxonomy.

Her: it would be like this: Family: Electridae, Genus: "Bose"irius, Species: subwufid

Quarter-Life Crisis

I don't really like John Mayer. Wait, stop, comeback! Truth be told, I haven't given him a chance. And it's not because I don't want to like him, I've just been too lazy to give him a good listen.

But apparently he hit the nail on the head with "Why Georgia." I personally am not moved by the song in anyway, but my friends tell me it really touched them and made them feel a way that I understand. I wouldn't say that the song describes how I feel about growing up, but I'll use it because evidently this is how my peers feel.



Dammit. Now I can't remember what this post was supposed to be about.

Weekend

This one is for the ladies.

GTA IV

I'm lazy.
GTA IV

But I will post this.

'GTA IV' could keep 'Iron Man' audience at home
"It's crazy to think that young males can't carve out two hours for 'Iron Man,' " he told EW.com. "It's going to be a great week to be a young guy."

Duck Tales (whooo-oooooh!)

BP and Shell post big profits
in era of record oil prices

This story looked really familiar.
Then I remembered posting this in 2005.
Scrooge McDuckin'

Santa

When you answer to no one for long enough, you end up looking like this.

Roundup

I thought nerds were supposed to be smart.
Grand Theft UPS: copies of GTA
stolen en route to retailers

If my child does this, I will BEAT him/her. It;s offensive to my craft.
'LOL' slips into homework
but formal writing still valued

This is cute in the way that everyone likes to torture babies a little bit.
Babies face off in
'crying sumo' contest

No Fair?

The funny thing about this is how serious and angry the comments are.

Snatch Pops

Penis theft panic hits city

Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Smile

Where the teeth bite

Cities with the Best Teeth
Rank City Name
1 Madison, WI
2 Nashville, TN
3 Raleigh, NC
4 St. Paul, MN
5 Aurora, CO

Cities with the Worst Teeth
Rank City Name
100 Lubbock, TX
99 Philadelphia, PA
98 Spokane, WA
97 Salt Lake City, UT
96 Jackson, MS

I'm Back

Vacation was great, but now I have to make for the days lost on the blog. Cue the appropriate music.

I can't believe I used to love this video.

FRIDAY!

I work late Friday so I don't get to party. Well, I could if I wasn't an old man but whatever.

To my friends who are partying, don't drink too much or else you're going home with this.


This is what Friday is about.

Get out my face!

What a waste of time.

Newseum

The Newseum:
The world's largest newsstand comes to Second LifeI think I'll check out the fake one tonight before I see the real one tomorrow.

Science

Or die tryin.

Word?

50 Cent and Universal sued for pushing "gangsta" life

"The members of G-Unit, including defendants Yayo and 50 Cent, encouraged, sanctioned, approved and condoned its members threatening violence, and or engaging in violent acts in furtherance of its business," the lawsuit said.

The 50 Cent I know fights terrorism.

50 thinks the president is "incredible ... a gangsta." "I wanna meet George Bush, just shake his hand and tell him how much of me I see in him," 50 told GQ. If the rapper's felony conviction didn't prevent him from voting, 50 said he would have voted for Bush.

See.

Big Bing on the Map

Police: Barclay secretly videotaped “100 to 500”sexual encounters with hidden camera network

The affidavit describes several such encounters with an Internet escort service known as “harrisburgfratboys.com.” Court documents indicate Barclay twice flew a 19-year-old man referred to as “W.M.” to his West Palm Beach home. During a trip last month, “W.M” told investigators that Barclay flew a male prostitute from Binghamton, N.Y., and paid that man $1,500.

I never understood the reasoning behind importing hoes. Are there not enough around that you have to bring them in by plane, train and bus?

Lions and Tigers and...

Might want to try a different advertising strategy.

Bear Spray

"You should see what I did to the bear."

Oh snap!

I mean oh sh...

Rockus the Caucus

Now ancient, but still funny to me. And Jay.

Dress Up

I don't even care about the story itself, I just think the senior citizen options is funny.

Kids' dress-up day draws Christian ire

Students at Pineview Elementary in Reedsburg had been dressing in costume all last week as part of an annual school tradition called Wacky Week. On Friday, students were encouraged to dress either as senior citizens or as members of the opposite sex.

Leetle

Tiny. Is this image insensitive?

World's smallest girl
proud of her tiny size

Roundup

Police say man
in wheelchair robbed bank

Police: Woman stabs husband
during fight over hot dogs for dinner

Clothes on (for now), gloves off
in fight over topless fishing

Class

This type of shit only happens in middle school.

Try Before You Buy

Couldn't resist this one.

Courthouse

For my journo friends.

Remember

Big ups to Rah Rah on this one.
James Earl Ray's brother claims
federal government killed Martin Luther King

A kilo is a thousand grams.

Two arrested in record cocaine haul, Philadelphia police say
The point of posting that was so I could post this.

You know you wrong.

'Whitney drove me to drugs'

"I think we got married for all the wrong reasons. Now, I realize Whitney had a different agenda than I did when we got married . . . I believe her agenda was to clean up her image, while mine was to be loved and have children."

Sexy Time

Sex therapists: a few minutes is best


It's more foreplay that you want, eh?

I pitty the fool...

April Fools' Day

The Top 10
Historical Hoaxers


Top 100 of All Time

Laugh in the face of death.

Stingrays
a sleeping menace

I have long been an advocate of the view that either everything is potentially funny, including death, or nothing is.

The joke about the chicken crossing the road and what the blind, deaf and dumb boy got for Christmas (the answer's cancer, by the way) both operate on the same principle -- life is ultimately absurd and the universe hates us.

Roundup

Big ups to Bingtown where I did my first real internship.
City man uses toilet-paper check
to try to settle water-bill dispute

--
Love that chicken...
Al Copeland, a restaurateur
known for spice and speed, dies at 64

His gaudy Christmas decorations, with more than a million lights, drew crowds to his home and a lawsuit from the neighbors. His ever-more-elaborate weddings involved touches like thousands of rose petals falling from his company helicopter.

--
Let's just get "nipple" in there as much as possible.
Woman says TSA forced
piercings removal

To be honest, I'm one of those guys that believes in minimal resistance to any security measure that's aimed at keep my plane in the sky. But the fact of the matter is there are just too many of these types of incidents to ignore.
It seems like the TSA has a lot of under-trained jerks in their ranks.

Grindin'

You know what I keep in the linin'.

Help is on the way!

...got diamonds in my mouf.

Dirrrrrrrrrrrrrty Souf

I feel gross just reading it.

Club where girl, 12, stripped
will keep license

Your city ordinance is an idiot.

Nyhahahaha... BUST.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

Seems like this is pretty much putting structure to something kids do anyway.

Ultimate fights expand to include kids

Ultimate fighting was once the sole domain of burly men who beat each other bloody in anything-goes brawls on pay-per-view TV.

But the sport often derided as "human cockfighting" is branching out.

How about we not call it that, Tobias.

Sexy

This is my porn.

AMD introduces new
Phenom chips

BTNH

It's amazing what you have to go through to get to a decent remix. This one ain't perfect but I'm feelin' it. Less would have been more but it does have the mid-career DJ U-Neek feel.

By far one three of my favorite BTNH remixes.

Wasted Grant Money

Do attractive women
want it all?

“When reviewing the qualities they desire in romantic partners, women gauge what they can get based on what they got,” Buss said. “And women who are considered physically attractive maintain high standards for prospective partners across a variety of characteristics.”

You're a genius, you freakin' idiot!